For youth production audition information, click here.

Four hilarious comedies!

Audition dates

Sunday 4 March and Monday 5 March 2018


Rehearsal Room and Foyer, Eltham Performing Arts Centre,1603 Main Road, Research

Performance dates

27 April - 14 May

Each play has been allocated a specific audition time and location as follows:

Roses Are Red, My Love

Written by Pat Woods 
Directed by Brooke Cowley

Sunday 4 March at 7pm
Monday 5 March at 7pm
Where: Foyer
Enquiries: Brooke at

Two lovely grandmotherly ladies who wouldn't hurt a fly confess to doing considerably more than that!
A funny, unexpected play that follows two women who are *frenemies* as they spend their old age in a little village.

Characters (2F)
Susan Westfield

F    50-70

A lovely chatty elderly woman who loves gardening.

Olga Bell                         

F    60-80

A slightly more astute elderly woman with a sharper tongue and an ever greater love of gardening.

Other information

The fourth wall is frequently broken in this play so the actresses need to be comfortable talking directly to the audience. They are immediately recognisable 'types' who turn out to be quite decidedly unlike your usual grandmother.

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Red Hot in Amsterdam

Written by Patricia Robinson
Directed by Samuel Bliss

Sunday 4 March at 6pm
Monday 5 March at 8pm
Where: Foyer
Enquiries: Samuel, 0477 860 663 or

Running from Amsterdam police, diamond thieves Frank and Mickey find an open window, clamber inside, and discover they are in a brothel! They hide the diamonds and escape, planning to return later. Two working girls, Corrine and Kora, find the diamonds and move them to a vase, but their boss, Madame Celestine, finds them in turn and vows to keep them. Mistaken identity and chaos ensues!

Characters (3F / 3M)

F    25-35   
Slight French accent

A bickering sex-worker in Amsterdam’s red light district.


F    25-35        
Slight Dutch/European accent

A bickering sex-worker in Amsterdam’s red light district.


M    25-45     
A rough around the edges British burglar.
(Must be comfortable in “Erotic Female” drag style costume for part of the play).


M    25-45   
A confident, more experienced but equally clueless British burglar.

Chief of Police

M    45-55 
Slight European accent

The troubled and at times clueless Chief of Amsterdam police.

Madame Celestine

F    45-55      
Slight European accent

The owner of the brothel, still in mourning from the death of her husband.


Other information
Age ranges provided are a guideline and there may be exceptions, particularly Corrine, Kora, Frank and Mickey could be older or younger without harming the integrity of the plot.

The part of Man (thief) at the play’s ending may be played by a male cast member following a costume change.

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Home is the Hunted

Written by R. F. Delderfield
Directed by Sean McKenna

Sunday 4 March at 5pm
Monday 5 March at 8.15pm
Where: Rehearsal Room
Enquiries: Sean - 0411 145 974 /

Oscar has just been sentenced to a long stretch in prison - again! After leaving the court he escapes home to hide. His women welcome him with open arms and enter wholeheartedly into making various impractical and hilarious plans to conceal him. A slapstick cockney comedy romp!

Characters (4F / 2M)
Maimie Sopworth

F    20s

Oscar’s daughter.

Ada Sopworth

F    40s

Oscar’s wife.

Cora Saferelli

F    40s

Oscar’s sister.

Emma Sopworth

F    50+

Oscar’s mother

Oscar Sopworth

M    40s  

Detective Sergeant Wilton

M    40+

Other information
All characters (except Detective Sergeant Wilson) have cockney accents.

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A Fete Worse Than Death

Written by Chris Hodson
Directed by Lisa McNiven

Sunday 4 March at 6pm
Monday 5 March at 7.15pm
Where: Rehearsal Room
Enquiries: Lisa - 0410 567 834 /

The Reverend Goode has trouble on his hands. The annual church fete is approaching and there are rumblings within the church community that something needs to be done to ‘jazz it up a bit’. A very funny look at how St Swithen’s is forced to move with the times. Will the fete make money this year? And at what cost?

Characters (5F / 5M)
Marjorie Goode

F    50s     
Vicar’s Wife.  Bright and cheery, not overbearing.

Rev Ian Goode

M    50s      
Old fashioned and staid Vicar.


F    late teens-20s        
Their Daughter.  Free spirit, bubbly, optimistic.


M    20s     
Sally’s Boyfriend.  Laid Back.

Mavis Taggert

F    50-70    
Older lady, “doer”, Reliable, doesn’t like change.

Norman Whittle

M    40-60 
Verger. Dotes on Vicar,  “Yes” man.

Lorainne Carstairs

F    50s     
Mousey in appearance but not timid, fastidious.

David Carstairs

M    50s
Treasurer.  Very conservative.  No sense of humour.

Simon Thornton

M, 20-30s         
Creative, enterpreneurish.

Barbara Naylor

F    20s-30s 
Church Warden. Solid, fit, masculine in appearance

Other information
All characters to have English Accents. Type as determined by character interpretation.

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